In my practice as a collaborative divorce coach and vocational expert, I’ve noticed a marked increase in clients citing narcissistic traits in the spouse they’re divorcing. What follows is my reflection on their experience of sorting things out and confronting the ways they have been undermined, their determination to learn to trust themselves again and make positive life affirming decisions for themselves and their family as they moved through the divorce process.
So you’re trying to get divorced, and now you’re both working from home.
Our new life, sheltering in place is in full swing. Oregonians have been at it awhile and divorcing couples and families are experiencing a wide range of circumstances, challenges and perks. Maybe you’re both still working, just one of you or neither of you are working. Uncertainly looms and timelines for resolution are hazy. Who knows what life will be like on the “other side?” In career development counseling we look to our deeper values and interests to guide us through times of change and transition. We reflect on our personal values like health, family, friendship, spirituality, security, and creativity to help us navigate new terrain. Consider how best to prioritize and live them under sometimes radically different circumstances.
Overcoming your barriers to even thinking about going back to work. During a divorce…
Collaborative divorce and vocational coaching is often a positive and transformative experience for divorcing women and men, usually an overwhelmed and vulnerable group. Men and women who are angry at being left behind after sacrificing their futures, career wise and financially, are inspired by connecting with a sense of purpose that also pays the bills. Partners who felt isolated and demeaned during their marriage begin to feel less depressed, hopeless and start taking positive action.
Collaborative Career Coaching Can Change Your Divorce
Attitudes about searching for career satisfaction have shifted dramatically in the last few decades. A meaningful and viable career path, one that integrates well with family life has gained broad appeal. The clients I see as a collaborative divorce coach and vocational expert share these views. As they engage divorce and career coaching, they become stronger, more flexible and reasonable. Self-confidence increases. The possibility of growing in ways that matter reduces fear and uncertainty about the future and enhances the ability to negotiate in good faith.
Find Meaning in Work Life and Rebuild Your Confidence Mid-Divorce
Whether you’ve initiated your divorce or vice versa and you need a job now or down the road, “What job?” can seem as unclear as the nature of your projected earnings. The way you approach thinking and making decisions about jobs during or post divorce can dramatically affect how the process unfolds for you.
Moms and Dads don’t give up on your other career dreams!
As a divorce coach and vocational expert in collaborative and mediated cases that are settled out of court, I have the privilege of supporting moms and dads needing to go back to work, as a result of their divorce. Typically the stay at home spouse has spent several years, often more than fifteen, out of the workplace.
Collaborative Approach to Divorce Empowers Stay-at-Home Spouse Re-Entering the Workplace
Increasingly in recent years, couples seeking an amicable divorce have chosen mediation as a way to avoid a nasty escalation into an expensive, attorney driven legal battle. This works for many families. However, anecdotal research shows that other folks still want more than a neutral mediator; an advocate in their corner.